Here We Go...

Well, tomorrow is the big day (most likely) and we couldn't be more excited to meet our second little buddy! Justin and I are sitting here on the couch wondering what he's going to look like. What color hair will he have? What color eyes? Will he look a bit like Nolan or totally different? What's his name going to be? (Jury is still out on that one, ha!) One thing we know for sure, he'll be supa cute!! 

As excited as we are though, we'd be lying if we didn't admit we're also a bit nervous. The last two years with Nolan have been incredible. Hard and life changing of course, but incredible at the same time. We have loved becoming parents, and Nolan's go-with-the-flow personality has made it so easy on us. Honestly, there have been so many parts of new parenthood that we expected to be hard, only to sail right through it with Nolan. He makes us look like amazing parents haha! So we worry a bit that Nolan has made us so comfortable and feeling like we've got this parenthood thing under control, only to have BB2 throw all of our confidence out the window. 

Not to mention the fact that we're just now getting to the point in our lives where things are getting pretty easy. Nolan is so fun right now! We can go out with just some diapers and a sippy cup, and we don't often have to worry about changing his bum in public. His vocabulary is very advanced for his age so we can communicate well with him (something I couldn't wait for!). He sleeps from 8pm to 7 am with relatively no exceptions and we're just overall into a nice rhythm with life. So we're nervous to go back to the craziness of the baby stage (spit up and blow outs and multiple night wakings) just as things seem to be getting easier.

I'm also nervous about how our family dynamic will change. Lately I find myself obsessed with spending special time with Nolan and thinking every occasion is a 'last.' Last time I'll get to go on a mommy-son date with just Nolan; the last time I'll get to sit on the couch and watch Super Why with him without another little person dividing my attention; the last time I'll get to snuggle with him for nap time, etc. I worry that I'll be so worried about the baby (and sleep) in the next few months that I'll shush him all the time or scold him for being loud or throwing things near the baby or 'hugging' him too hard. I worry I won't get to enjoy him as much as I have been lately and that makes me sad.

I worry about how Nolan will respond to a new baby and how he'll react to not being the center of our attention. I know in my mind and heart that one of the absolute best things for a child is to give him a sibling and make sure he's NOT be the center of attention, but I still feel a bit guilty for some reason.

Now that I've admitted all of my concerns, I'll say that I know...I KNOW...that life will only become more rich and fun and fulfilling as we expand our family. We are absolutely elated for BB2 to join us in the next day or so and can't wait to discover his personality, looks, quirks, and overall uniqueness. But most especially, I can't wait to see a special bond develop between our two amazing boys. I have always been so close to my siblings and I am so happy to be able to give that to my children. I'm so excited to witness Nolan in his new role as a big brother and I have no doubts that, just like everything else, he will exceed all of our expectations.